Sweet child of mine

There’s not much to report on the closet this morning. Yesterday we had a Baptism to go to for our nephew and while I tried to remove the rest of the frame before getting ready to leave I ran into trouble.

I removed 3 of the beams without trouble but when trying to get the last three out I had a really tough time. Many of the screws were over drilled and too far into the wood to reach with the drill bit. I got a screwdriver and was able to manually unscrew a few enough to the point that I could us the drill but some are stuck in there good and I am not strong enough. Also there is a screw head that is stripped because they just didn’t stop drilling I suppose.

I was getting flustered and a little disappointed that I would need help but thankfully Aidan seems happy to give me a hand. We were going to try to do it last night after we came home from the party, but Maddox and Logan were not about it. So we just enjoyed the boys instead.

Today is Maddox’s first birthday. I am going to sound like every other parent on the planet right now when I say I can’t believe he is one! It went by so fast. Too fast. My sweet baby. My last baby. He’s a pain in the ass sometimes but he really is the sweetest, funniest little boy you can imagine.


He’s walking, almost running even. He’s trying to talk and already says more than a few words. Dada is his favorite to say! He calls me Dada unless he’s crying then he says Mama. He says his brother and sisters names and calls the cat something I can’t quite make out.

He has the personality if a comedian and kisses Logan goodnight every night by toddeling into their room once Lo is in bed and leaning over the bed railing to give him a kiss. It’s the sweetest thing ever.


Last night when I was giving him kisses and hugs and telling him about his birthday I said that I only have 17 more of these days left. I was really sad to think about that just because with Regina turning 18 next month I know all too well how fast those 17 years are going to fly by. My stance has changed from OMG I have another how many years left?! To slow down, life is moving too fast!


Happy birthday munchkin and a wish for a hundred more, we love you so, so much xoxo!



Random photos from my phone

Maddox kinda likes Perogies..

Earlier that same day Logan informed me that when he was a “young boy” he made this face all the time:

This boy is a character and wears his Buzz Lightyear costume at least once a week. It’s his favorite outfit:

Occasionally he switches it up:

All that can happen in 4 months..

Well, well, well. Here I am writing for the first time in 4 months. Four. Actually there was one drunken post at one point but then I removed it because it was just crappy nonsense. To say that things have been busy around here would be true and to say they’ve been crazy would be even more truthful. Honestly, I feel like there isn’t time for anything other than living right now and my nerves have been shot but might be starting to settle down soon. Maybe.

Marshall is away at a residential treatment facility. He will be there for about a year and should help him a lot. This was court ordered by a very nice judge who probably saw the desperation in my eyes when I requested he be placed. As you know I love all of my kids more than anything and I had been wanting him to be sent somewhere for a while for his own good, as well as for ours. He and Aidan had it out one night and it got really, really bad. I had Regina call the police because Marshal was seriously out of his head attacking Aidan. It was scary. That was in February and he hasn’t been home since.

If I am lucky and can get back into the swing of things I will talk more about Marshal in later posts.

I really miss writing so much.

Regina is another stressor.. Her graduation is next Thursday and she is scrambiling at the last minute to get her work done so she can actually graduate. Why she does this I just don’t know. She’s failing cosmetology because of her attendance. She’s months and months behind on her on-line courses. She’s playing hardball with her head in the clouds. Do I think she’ll get it all done in time to participate in graduation? Yes. I’m I worried sick that I’m wrong and she won’t? Yes. It’s her life and I can’t do it for her. All I can do (and do daily) is nag. Fun for all.

On top of those two my mother has been very odd and apparently has/had begun drinking around the clock. I don’t even know what to write about her other than I am worried. I think she is going through some mental health issues and trying to self medicate with more alcohol than usual. Trying to help my dad and brother help her has been difficult because I am so far away, have two little boys that I don’t want to bring around her and also I have to do a few driving trips each day to get or drop off Regina at work or school or what have you. I’ve also honestly have been hoping my mom gets her head out of her ass and gets her shit together. Not realistic.

The little boys keep my days busy. Maddox is starting to walk now and has been getting into everything for a while now. Logan has been getting jealous and they both constantly want my attention to be directed at themselves. It’s rough, it’s normal and I’m blessed to be able to be home with them. They drive me crazy though. :)

My mentalĀ  state hasn’t been so hot but I know it’s because of everything that’s going on. I feel stretched thin but it will all fall into place. My medication was switched and it’s taking it’s time working. I have gained 20 pounds since starting the first med and it’s making me miserable. This new med that replaced it though should help me lose that weight. I hope so though because I really feel disgusting. It’s terrible. Especially concidering that I had lost so much weight after having Maddox, who will be a year old next month.

Logan’s 3rd birthday is on Thursday. Since the boys birthdays are so close together I am having a combined party. I don’t want to do all of the work twice and we are far enough away from family that one trip is good for them to make instead of two.

In August Regina will be 18. Holy fucking shit batman. I would be close to the end of child hood! But that’s not the case at all. I’ve got another 17 years before I can say that. Sigh. I love the kids, each and every one of them but this Mama is tired. Really tired. I turned 38 on Friday. My life is chugging along and of my whole life I’ll have had 35 years of kids under 18. If that doesn’t keep you young then I’m fucked.

I’ve been working on the stairwell and woodwork in the house and it’s been moving quickly. I’ll update more soon, Logan just woke up.

Toys, boys, crafts and food

New toy for Mama..

For Christmas this year I asked for a Fitbit and Aidan is awesome so now I have one. Yesterday was my first day of wearing it for a full day because it took me a little while to figure out how to set it up. Anyway, it’s set up and I’ve been wearing it for a day and a half.

I like this thing a lot! It’s pretty darn cool. Aidan got the Charge HR model in black and at first I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t one of the cool colors but black goes with everything so it was actually a better call. Plus I didn’t tell him what one I wanted (I didn’t really even know) so he did the perfect choice.

I’m still getting used to wearing it as I don’t normally wear bracelets or a watch but it’s not uncomfortable or anything. Sometimes I just have to move it a little to give my skin some air but that’s it.

The really cool thing about it is that it tracks so much stuff. Resting heart rate, current heart rate, steps taken, flight of steps taken, calories burned, sleep and you can enter food and beverages on the app if you are trying to lose weight.

I had a little trouble last night adding foods to the app but I am sure I wasn’t doing it right. I’ll have to figure it out today. It was easy the first night.

The sleep thing is nuts.

I thought it was wrong the first night because it said I slept for over 11 hours but Aidan told me that I passed out hard at 7pm when I was feeding Maddox. I really did sleep that long! It also said I was unrestful 20-some times and 48 minutes. THAT I believed.

This morning it said I was unrestful for over 4 hours and slept for 5. That I believe too because I feel like shit.

It will be interesting to see how my sleep patterns are. I read somewhere that when you have Fibromyalgia you never get to the REM stage of sleep and that is why you are sore and tired all the time. Looking at my data makes me wonder if that’s true. It seems like it could be.

Clean up, pick up, put away..

The past few days have been great in terms of getting things done. I’ve been on a roll since the day after Christmas, putting the holiday stuff away, deep cleaning and organizing.

The dining room got a deep clean and was put back to normal. I finally put a rug pad down under the rug too and it has already made a difference! The room feels great again.

I cleaned the outside of my kitchen cabinets (they needed to be scrubbed badly) and cleaned the stainless (again something that was neglected).

I deep cleaned the boys room and put away all of the holiday decorations. I actually put all of the things (aside from the tree and wreath) into a box and wrapped it before putting it in the attic. I think it will be fun for Logan to open it next year and get him pumped up for Christmas again.

I wanted to deep clean our room too but the filter on the vacuum was clogged so I had to wash it and let it sit out overnight to dry. I’ll do that today along with laundry.

Babes in Toy Land..

I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten all of the toys upstairs and down as organized as they can be. Two little kids = a lot of toys and it will turn into insanity if we don’t stay on top of it. Everything is organized by item type so they don’t all get mixed up and pieces lost. That is the worst!

I’ve been organizing toys since we have started collecting them but I think it’s a process that just can’t end. There can still be tweaks made to the system but for today I am happy. There are toys that stay in their room and toys on the main floor, all organized in separate areas and most in containers.

We are trying to teach him to put the toys away before pulling out more and he is doing pretty well with it. He does say “No, you do it” before he picks up but when we help a little he does the rest.

She’s Crafty..

I crack myself up sometimes.. For as long as I harped on Aidan about getting the painting done I’ve had my own little project that was sitting by the wayside.

We picked up letters from Target (I shop nowhere else obviously) and paint so I could put the little boys initials on their walls near their beds. I have been working on getting them finished for like 5 months because I wasn’t sure what patterns to make. That’s perfectionism at it’s finest.

Anyway, Regina helped me finish the last two up yesterday. Finally! Hurrah! Here is how they turned out:

I think they are pretty cute! We made sure that the outer edges weren’t the same on any that will be next to each other. It was something that would drive us mad. She is a perfectionist like me so the whole process was fun lol

Now we need to hang them up..

Crickets chirping..

I hope to get them hung today along with a few other things that need to get up on the wall. I’ll try to do a boys room tour :) Yes I am a nerd. It’s not a fancy room but it’s cute and for being the smallest room in the house it has to be hyper organized. I still have a long way to go to get it that way but honestly organizing is never done, right?!

Love in the kitchen..

Last night was also a little busy in the kitchen. For dinner I made Chicken Enchiladas from the Pioneer Woman’s new cookbook, another super awesome gift from Christmas. I might be her biggest fan if you haven’t realized yet and I know I can get her recipes online but to me a cookbook is so much easier to work from. I love cookbooks :)

So the enchiladas turned out well and then while they were resting Logan and I made sugar cookies. He made cut outs using the gingerbread man cookie cutter we hadn’t used for ornaments or play-doh. Today we will decorate them. The cutter is huge so we only have about a dozen cookies but it’s whatever. As long as he has fun and learns more!

Well, that’s all for now, folks! I hope you all have a great day :) I’m going to walk around the table a few times to make up for the steps I missed while writing this lol

Well, now that that is over…

I hope everyone had a really wonderful Christmas. I hope you all were able to spend time with your families and friends and I hope your gatherings were nice.

We had a really nice Christmas this year. On Christmas Eve we went to my parents and we got to see my sister and her husband and baby, my brother and my parents. Maddox and Logan both had a blast and enjoyed all of the attention and of course, the presents.

Aidan and I were up until 2am getting the wrapping finished up, putting together the kitchen set and then putting the gifts out.

Mandatory tree drama..

We decided to put the little boys gifts in front of the fireplace and not under the tree because this is what it looks like:


Yes friends, my tree must have heard all the shit I was talking and decided on revenge. It’s dropping all of it’s needles. ALL. OF. IT’S. NEEDLES. Do you see that pile to the right?


Yes, that one.. That was only one of many. It may just look like a pile of green, but that is a massive pile of needles. Billions of them. Gazillions of needles everywhere.

All we can do is laugh really. I mean the ridiculousness of the whole tree situation is just flat out laughable.

And yet.. Aidan still doesn’t want to get a fake tree next year.

The point is.. we were smart to put the gifts in front of the fireplace and not under the tree. If anyone blinks too hard needles fall and cover anything in their path to the floor.

Reaching under the tree for gifts was NOT an option. Breathing in the same room is barely an option at this point.

Holly Jolly Christmas..

Aside from the tree and a small tiff with Aidan on Christmas Eve everything went smoothly and fantastic. Logan had SO much fun opening gifts and playing with his kitchen set.

I took a video of his reaction coming down in the morning. I love him so much, he is so adorable! And “so excited!” :)

Maddox even had a fun time opening his gift and playing with toys. Aidan seemed to really like the shirts Regina and I picked out for him and the other gifts I ordered. They were even the right size! Win!

When the big kids came home they were happy and thankful and really appreciated the gifts they received.

It was a nice morning.

In the afternoon Aidan and I went with the little’s to Aidan’s sister’s house for a family party. I felt awful (tired and sick) so I rested on the ride and once we got there I felt much better. It was a really nice party with great food and a happy family. Logan and Maddox both had a great time and that always makes me happy.

So Much Activities!

Logan’s first active Christmas was a success! I wanted it to be the best Christmas ever for him so he will look forward to it again next year. We did so many activities leading up to the main event:

  • Elf on the Shelf
  • made a lot of ornaments
  • made a lot of cookies
  • wrapped presents
  • looked at lights
  • had special outfits
  • saw Santa on a firetruck
  • met Santa in person
  • did the advent calendar
  • decorated the house
  • read stories
  • watched movies

Now of course I’ll have to hear about Santa and presents forever.. I guess I better start looking up crafts to make for Valentines Day! Gotta keep moving, right?!

New Tradition.. Beat the tree?

Today we are going to take what’s left of the “tree” down. It’s really early but it isn’t going to last much longer. I’m surprised it’s still standing in all it’s wondrous glory.

Honestly, I just don’t want anymore ornaments to fall and break otherwise I’d keep it up just to see if we could cover the whole floor with needles. Ha! We expect that there won’t be any needles left on it by the time I get the lights off so I guess I’ll find out.

However, if there are any still holding on Aidan wants to knock it a few times and see if he can’t get them all off before dragging it through the house and out the door. It’ll be like a pinata minus the treats.

Well, again, I hope you all had a great holiday and I’m not sad it’s over so you shouldn’t be either. Now we get to look forward to the New Year :)