Cookie’s Buttons

Yesterday was great. It was a fun day at work and even though I was working by myself there were still plenty of customers to talk to and get to know. A lot of self proclaimed regulars were in the store and they all seemed very nice. There was one difficult customer but she ended up walking away happy, well as happy as she could have been, I think she is normally a grump, but she wasn’t furious when she left, so that was good.

My mom started a button collection a few years ago and last week I happened upon a button collection from my bosses grandmother that they were going to sell. I scooped it right up and thought it would be a great gift for Christmas. The tin was very beat up so I decided to look for something better for her to keep them in. The other day I happened upon a depression glass cookie jar with the word cookies on it that would have been perfect. My moms nickname is Cookie and it was the right size.

1cookie

I really wanted to get it but it was a bid item and with the shipping it would have been close to $60. So I was disappointed to let it go, but I did. Well, wouldn’t you know that while I was at work yesterday I just happened to look up in a spot I usually look at and low and behold, there was the same jar, in better shape and for 25% off $50?! How fucking strange and wonderful is that?! I never saw it there before and like magic it was there, right in front of my face :)

The jar pictured above is the photo from the auction site. That one has a green lid and the label isn’t as worn as the one in the store which has a silver lid. The label at the store has the “s” worn off so it says “COOKIE” how seriously perfect :)

I’m getting it today, I have already set it aside! I hope she loves her gift. I think she will! Me and the boys enjoyed going through the buttons so I can see why she likes to collect them :) It’s definitely the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten for anyone. I always have big ideas about thoughtful gifts but they never work out. I hope it will mean a lot to her. Giving it means a lot to me.

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Senager

I woke up a little before 4 this morning and figured I’d get up to write while it was quiet. It’s now 6 and I am getting close to wake up time for the boys. I don’t know why I didn’t write, I have plenty to write about. I suppose I just haven’t thought of what to say.

I’ve been driving myself crazy looking for a photo that I took a few years back when Aidan and I were on a trip to the mountains. It’s the perfect photo to have blown up and framed and I cannot find it in any of my files. If I somehow deleted it I am really going to be upset.

I haven’t spoken to my parents since last week so I don’t know what new drama has occurred. If it was anything serious though I know I would have been called, so I’m letting sleeping dogs lie and enjoying a little less stress for now.

My aunt did tell me yesterday that my mom fired her lawyer for her upcoming DUI charges and told my other aunt she is representing herself. I have a feeling that words were just twisted and she actually meant she is just using a public defender. I’ll ask her about it and make sure she has a public defender but I didn’t agree with her getting a lawyer. Not because they are a waste of money or anything, just the opposite. I want her to lose her license and get treatment.

Whether the lawyer is involved or not she is going to be facing loads in fines and I don’t think they will send her to jail, it was her first offense and she was never in trouble with the law for anything ever before in her life. She does need to take responsibility and loose her license though. She needs to get professional help also. I just can’t believe that at nearly 70 years old she is acting like a 14 year old. It just boggles my mind.

 

 

Holding it together

There is still a lot of crap going on with my mom and really so much to talk about in regards to her. Honestly though, I don’t want to. It’s exhausting to even think about. For what it’s worth and for the sake of maybe letting some of the stress go I’ll summarize what has happened in just this past week.

She moved out

Thursday –
My mom got her own apartment. She had talked about it for months and my dad assured me that she couldn’t because he called the place and told them what was going on with her mental state. Either he lied to me or they lied to him, because she seriously moved out. He let her, he watched her. One plastic grocery bag filled after another went to her new place.

No furniture. Who needs somewhere to sit?
She was positive and full of enthusiasm.

Friday –
Still no furniture. She has a car and a cell phone. She’s not supposed to drive. I told my dad this would blow up in his face and has the potential to bring on financial ruin. “I have it covered.”

Saturday –
Ginger, have you heard from, mom?

Ginger, your mom isn’t at her apartment, the mattress people are trying to deliver the mattress and her cars not there.

No, Ginger, I’m not with your mom, she did sound drunk when I talked to her an hour ago, please let me know when you hear something.

Dad, we found her car, she’s at the fucking bar!

No, Ginger, that can’t be her car. The police found your mom.. she crashed her car in Glassboro and she’s been arrested. She was drunk.

I know now that I can never drink again, Ginger, I can never drink again because of the potassium.

Sunday –
Ginger, can you pick me up after 10 tomorrow and take me to buy a tv?
No, mom, I have plans, but I can on Tuesday.

Ginger, Dad wants you to take mom to the police station to get her car released before you come here tomorrow.
I wasn’t planning on going there. I was just taking her to buy a tv, I have things to do.

Tuesday –
From 10:00am to 2:00pm I was with my mother. We did not buy a tv. She got one the day before. Instead we drove to the auto yard, accomplished nothing and then went to her real house. She argued with my dad and packed up many more plastic grocery bags of things.

Dad, she CANNOT live by herself. She can’t drive. She isn’t well. She needs help.

Not MY problem. She’s not coming back here. I don’t care what she does.


Of everything that is going on, ofall that is stressing me out about this whole situation, it is my father who is causing me the most grief. 40 years they have been married. For 40 years she has taken care of him and now when she needs him the most he is turning his back on her 100%? No wonder she wants to leave. The thing is she can’t be alone she needs supervision. And she has now signed a lease! He let her sign a lease! And she is going to lose her license, not that she was supposed to be driving anyway but he let her take the car. Yet, this is somehow not his problem.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that Dad.

In a nutshell..

This post was started over a week ago so it bounces a bit partially through, please forgive me :)

So many things have been going on around here and finally, not all bad! Aside from going (pardon my choice of word) crazy trying to keep my mother safe and under control I’ve been focusing on the house to stay distracted.

About my mom..

After my last post more shit hit the fan. She got into an argument with my dad about lord knows what and called the police on him for yelling at her. Now, this is the 4th time in 3 weeks that the police were called to our house and they are becoming very familiar with the situation. While they were there she called me asking if she could stay at our house for a few days. I don’t have a guest room or a very large house so I said, “I don’t have the room but..” she screamed curse words and hung up on me.

The next thing I know is that my while my dad was telling me about the police being there he casually mentioned that my mom called a cab and was going to take a cab to the bus terminal in Philly then take a bus to North Jersey to stay with her sister in law for a few days. I freaked out. This woman cannot navigate her way through a paper bag and she wants to do what?! I told them I would drive her, I really feared for her saftey and with her frame of mind believed 100% that she would really try to go.

So 7 hours later I returned home. After being screamed at, insulted, cursed out and not thanked even once, I had had it for the day. Of course the next morning the drama started again and my dad was going to pick her up. I got in touch with her doctor and he instructed me to have my dad take her straight to the emergency room by their house. 3rd trip to the ER in as many weeks.

I was grateful that the doctor seemed to listen to me when I told him that she was not herself AT ALL. Her personality had changed and she is a danger. Unfortunately the hospital released her the next morning. There is a TON of red tape in New Jersey with committing someone involuntarily and I haven’t figured out the ways around it.

In the meantime, in this past week

  • the police were called on her by my brother because she lashed out and threw a fork at him. She attacks my dad and brother physically so we’ve all come to the agreement that for all of their safety that is what they need to do. We are also hoping they will take her to a hospital that will finally take this seriously.
  • she has packed up most of the house into plastic grocery store bags and says that she is taking all of her stuff with her when she moves into an apartment next week. This includes food from the refrigerator.
  • there is absolutely no reasoning with her as she hates all of us and claims that we are all insane and dumb.
  • the house is a disaster. Serious wreckage. All caused by her and her desire to “move”

I was interrupted while writing this post and now it’s 8 days later that I am getting back to it..

In those past 8 days she’s been somewhat calm but has been meeting with some random guy she found on the internet — who actually drove up to North Jersey to pick her up, arriving there after my dad had already picked her up. Since then he has taken her to get an apartment, which she didn’t officially get, and continues to pack for.

It’s all a lot to explain, a lot to sort out in my head before I can explain and I don’t want to get into it right now but want to post this for what it contains so far.. She has a neurologist appointment on Monday morning and I will talk more about her after that.

As of this moment though there are good things happening..

MARSHAL IS ON A HOME PASS :)

It’s so great to have him here and I am enjoying this visit very much. There is definitely been a change going on inside of him and he seems so much more mature now and stable compared to the day he left 6 months ago.

He is only here until Monday so it’s a short visit but that’s good so that he won’t backstep from the progress he’s made. I’m so proud of him.

This morning he and his buddy are helping me go to pick up a desk I found in the free section on Craigslist. My plan is it refinish it. I’ll show you the picture of the project I am getting into but I believe my hard work and love will pay off big time.

I’ve been having a lot of good luck on Craigslist lately. I’ll share an update separately when I show you my project desk. Woo hoo! You know I love a project :)

Speaking of projects..

The living room! It’s coming along so, so nicely. It’s not finished yet but dry wall is up on the walls and the ceiling! The room looks great already and I am excited for how nice it will be once painted! It needs to be mudded and trimmed out and the floor boards need to be set but wow, it’s almost there and it looks awesome!

So much room for activities! Or furniture lol!

My house is chugging along and coming together nicely, if I do say so myself!

Not even a wiff

Good morning, happy hump day everyone! I hope that all of you are having a great week. For me it feels like time is moving but I am stuck in place. I don’t know if that means I’ve “checked out” like I have a habit of doing in times of stress or if I just can’t keep up. I’m thinking it’s more or less that I’ve checked out and I am running on auto-pilot.

I have always had a great way of shutting down when things are pretty tough. It’s not a bad thing, per say, but it’s not really a good thing either. Do you know the term fight or flight? Well, it’s a survival instinct and over the course of my life I don’t know if I am fighting or flighting but I am surviving and I suppose that counts for something.

Anyway, I am really worried and upset about my mother. I took her to her primary doctor on Monday. I was dreading going because I was worried she was going to be awful and nasty but that wasn’t the case at all. She was in a really good mood and chatted the whole time. The doctor told her “Point blank — you may not drink. Not a sip or a sniff even. NO drinking.” She went on her comeback that she is 69 and she will drink and blah blah but she didn’t get crazy.

She didn’t get crazy with me after we left and she told me to stop at the liquor store. She tried to threaten me that she would take a bottle of pills but when I asked her if she was going to rephrase that or if she wanted me to drive straight to the hospital for threatening suicide she dropped it. She said she didn’t know what she was going to do about getting liquor and I told her that this isn’t who she is and that she only really wanted it now was because she was told no. I told her to focus on cooking and baking for the night and that would keep her occupied and happy.

My brother complained about how big of a mess there was in the kitchen because mom had been cooking again and I told him that was great. I told him what I told her and I told him to compliment her food and thank her. Then I went on about how all 3 of them need to appreciate and be verbal about appreciating one another more. The three of them have terrible self esteem and it’s because they are all chronically complaining and bickering. They need some positivity. A LOT of it.

Her neurology appointment is in 3 weeks, I really hope she can make it until then without being hospitalized again. I miss my mom and as much as I preach about them not being positive I sure do wish I appreciated my momĀ  better when she was herself.

My mom isn’t doing any better

My mom was back in the hospital again on Thursday. I thought if I went down there and talked to them they would keep her and get to the bottom of what is going on with her but they didn’t. They wouldn’t admit her to the psyche ward because when they interviewed her she wasn’t a threat to herself or others. They said if it’s low potassium making her act like a maniac her primary doctor would have to help her and if it’s dementia a neurologist would have to help.

This time she was admitted for being drunk. She was physically attacking my dad and brother after my dad hid the whiskey from her. She was taking off her clothes and running outside screaming things. When the police came she was being sexually vulgar towards them. This is not my mom. Her alcohol level was .02 the limit for being unable to drive is .008 the woman doing the psyche evaluation said .03 would be inebriated. My mom still insists that she only drinks 2 drinks a day and was horribly offended when we said she was an alcoholic.

So there are two problems — the alcohol abuse, obviously, and something with her brain which is strongly exasperated by the alcohol.

I’m going to her primary doctors appointment on Monday and will see what he says. I’m not expecting any answers but more work to do. Forming a relationship with her doctor is probably a good idea also.

It’s hard being around my mom though. She’s really mean and says horrible things. I know it’s not really her talking but it still gets to you. My poor dad and brother, I don’t know how they are doing it. She’s always had a nasty streak but now it’s 24/7.