Yesterday’s school meeting about the kids and them cutting/failing/generally having a difficult time doing what they need to do went better than I expected. It was also shorter than I expected. Usually our meetings run the two hour time frame but yesterday was an hour and we discussed them both.
We started with Marshal because his problems are more difficult to resolve. For years he was getting in trouble behavior wise but that stopped last year. He cuts now and doesn’t do any work when he is in class but he doesn’t argue get into fights or cause chaos like before. He is failing again and can’t function in a school of this size. He needs a smaller setting with more one on one help.
That said everyone decided another school would be a better fit for him. The school that they want to send him to is very small. Under 100 students ranging from 7th-12th grade. I have heard bad things about the school though through the kids, specifically about the kids that they know that go there. They know about 5 of them and the ones they know are always getting arrested for stuff.
There is another alternative but the school and their budget can’t justify it. It’s a boarding school that has a really good reputation of turning kids around. The adults in Marshal’s situation (myself, Aidan, his Dad, the home and school visitor, his therapist, his guidance councilor, his emotional support coach) all agree and have been trying to get him placed there. Some of us for years.
The trouble is that it needs to be school or court ordered because of the cost. If I were to pay out of pocket it would be over $30,000 and I obviously don’t have that.
With him getting in trouble over the weekend though it might work out. This is his second time getting arrested and because of the trouble he could have gotten himself in, combined with his mental health and his school records, we might have a fighting chance to get him there and get him the help he desperately needs.
I asked the truancy/home school visitor that I have a good and fairly close relationship with to go with me to the meeting with the probation department to help plead our case. It’s nerve wracking and a little scary but it needs to be tried.
I don’t want Marshal living out of my house, I love him more than life, but the truth is I really have no control over him and I am afraid for him. I think having the environment change for him would be a very good thing. I think a lot of the pressure he feels to fit in would be removed, he’d be out of this area where dangerous things happen and he finds himself in. I think he would grow as a person and learn a lot of good things about himself that he just can’t see.
So.. that’s where we are with him.
Regina is doing great in her Cosmotology class but is going to fail and not graduate if her attitude and situation doesn’t change. What was decided for her was that she will continue at the tech school for a half day, do a work study program at the elementary school for 2 hours 3 days a week and then take her 3 classes online at home.
It seems like so much more work and time to me but it will be easier and there will be an assortment of things instead of sitting in a classroom, which she just cuts. This is her last option though and it will require her to be disciplined. That worries me but I have to trust her and I will.
Well, that’s what I have after the meeting yesterday. There is a plan in place for them both now we just need to get it happening. I’m really grateful for the school and the relationships I’ve built with the administration. They really do care about my family and haven’t turned their backs on us once in the past 5 years when they very well could have. I feel blessed and Regina understands it a little now too. Marshal doesn’t see it yet but I know he will as an adult.
Marshal is going to have a very hard time with all of this and I expect that he is going to hate me because of it. Sometimes what matters more is the outcome though and I hope one day he will understand and thank me and the other people who refuse to give up on him.