This attempt will prevail

Well..

Yesterday’s school meeting about the kids and them cutting/failing/generally having a difficult time doing what they need to do went better than I expected. It was also shorter than I expected. Usually our meetings run the two hour time frame but yesterday was an hour and we discussed them both.

We started with Marshal because his problems are more difficult to resolve. For years he was getting in trouble behavior wise but that stopped last year. He cuts now and doesn’t do any work when he is in class but he doesn’t argue get into fights or cause chaos like before. He is failing again and can’t function in a school of this size. He needs a smaller setting with more one on one help.

That said everyone decided another school would be a better fit for him. The school that they want to send him to is very small. Under 100 students ranging from 7th-12th grade. I have heard bad things about the school though through the kids, specifically about the kids that they know that go there. They know about 5 of them and the ones they know are always getting arrested for stuff.

hmm.

There is another alternative but the school and their budget can’t justify it. It’s a boarding school that has a really good reputation of turning kids around. The adults in Marshal’s situation (myself, Aidan, his Dad, the home and school visitor, his therapist, his guidance councilor, his emotional support coach) all agree and have been trying to get him placed there. Some of us for years.

The trouble is that it needs to be school or court ordered because of the cost. If I were to pay out of pocket it would be over $30,000 and I obviously don’t have that.

With him getting in trouble over the weekend though it might work out. This is his second time getting arrested and because of the trouble he could have gotten himself in, combined with his mental health and his school records, we might have a fighting chance to get him there and get him the help he desperately needs.

I asked the truancy/home school visitor that I have a good and fairly close relationship with to go with me to the meeting with the probation department to help plead our case. It’s nerve wracking and a little scary but it needs to be tried.

I don’t want Marshal living out of my house, I love him more than life, but the truth is I really have no control over him and I am afraid for him. I think having the environment change for him would be a very good thing. I think a lot of the pressure he feels to fit in would be removed, he’d be out of this area where dangerous things happen and he finds himself in. I think he would grow as a person and learn a lot of good things about himself that he just can’t see.

So.. that’s where we are with him.

Regina is doing great in her Cosmotology class but is going to fail and not graduate if her attitude and situation doesn’t change. What was decided for her was that she will continue at the tech school for a half day, do a work study program at the elementary school for 2 hours 3 days a week and then take her 3 classes online at home.

It seems like so much more work and time to me but it will be easier and there will be an assortment of things instead of sitting in a classroom, which she just cuts. This is her last option though and it will require her to be disciplined. That worries me but I have to trust her and I will.

Well, that’s what I have after the meeting yesterday. There is a plan in place for them both now we just need to get it happening. I’m really grateful for the school and the relationships I’ve built with the administration. They really do care about my family and haven’t turned their backs on us once in the past 5 years when they very well could have. I feel blessed and Regina understands it a little now too. Marshal doesn’t see it yet but I know he will as an adult.

Marshal is going to have a very hard time with all of this and I expect that he is going to hate me because of it. Sometimes what matters more is the outcome though and I hope one day he will understand and thank me and the other people who refuse to give up on him.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “This attempt will prevail

  1. Hi, I just want you to know that I was a very troubled teen, involved with other very troubled teens. My parents had to get me into a rehabilitation center. I spent 14 months there. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I turned my life around and met my husband while I was attending the school. (He wasn’t there, I met him when I came home for a visit) I have had a great life with him. Married 36 years, 5 kids. Just a normal, wonderful life with my best friend. Never would’ve happened had I not gotten help when I was 15. I have followed your blog with Marshall and this would be so go for all of you and most importantly Marshall. I hope all goes well for you. It is a lot of hard work though changing your life around, but it is necessary to do it when things get so out of hand. Blessings <3

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement! It means a lot to me that you have shared your past now and previously and it has given and continues to give me hope that he will be okay. I’m sending many hugs your way :)

      Like

  2. I’m curious… I’m wondering if the school in question that you want to send Marshall to is the one my husband went to. Is it out in western PA? It turned my husband’s life around for sure. I believe he was court-ordered to go there. Good luck with everything!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m thinking your husband may have gone to Valley Forge? I am hoping to get Marshal into Glen Mills, which is in Delaware County, it’s very similar but not military. They are both supposed to be great but I think Glen Mills deals a little more with mental health. I’m glad to hear a good story though, I hope it all works out.

      Like

      1. Oh ok. No, he went to George Junior Republic. It’s like north of Pittsburgh. He grew up in Northeast Philly so it was quite an adjustment for him. I think he was 16 when he went. Ended up going to college out that way too. Anyway, I’m glad there are good options closer to home for you.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s