Losing someone is different than losing touch

Ang

Last night I received some very sad news that my ex-sister in law passed away. She was 33 and left behind 3 children. I am so sad about this, even though I haven’t spoken to her in years. There was a time when we were really close but that was a decade a go. I still remember all the fun times and deep talks we had. She got lost along the way and I was pretty mad at her for leaving her family. I really was mad at her for breaking my brother in laws heart, but her leaving was what she needed to do. She still saw her kids and wanted to always see them more. I am so sad for them. They have a wonderful step mom who loves them like her own but losing your real mother at such young ages is probably the worst thing a child can go through.

Oddly enough I have been thinking about her quite a bit lately. A few months before she left my brother in law and their kids she was diagnosed as bi-polar. She was in a manic state for a few months and ended up changing the whole family by talking brother in law to buying a house and moving (the guys) grandmom in to help with bills. I was so mad because Grandma told me she didn’t want to move, and if she was to choose she’d like to live in a retirement community. I spoke up for her but it caused trouble with my father in law and then Grandma denied saying it. I was angry at Grandma and at Ang.

Not long after they moved Grandma fell ill and passed away which I don’t believe would have happened if she didn’t move. Ang left around that time, too.

I guess I never forgave her. We were once as close as sisters and I felt abandoned and confused much like everyone else in her life did. I forgive her now though. I pray for her babies and know she will watching them from above.