Clothing and Weight Loss

Hooray! I am up before 7am! Well, up and out of bed and writing :) The baby did really well last night and slept from about 8pm to 3am then woke up at 5:30. I nursed him and then came down to make coffee and write. It feels good :) I didn’t sleep well last night, there was a lot of in and out sleep, so that kinda sucks, but it’s better than being woken up to nurse the baby every two hours, which has been happening now for a week or two. I hope him sleeping last night means that he will go back to his super awesome sleep schedule that he had up until then.

Today we are going to Aidan’s parents for a few hours so our two year old Logan can play with his cousin and everyone can see Maddox. I really don’t want to go anywhere, I have a lot to do here but the visit was promised to be short so I can get things done around here later this afternoon. The slip covers on my sofa need to be washed because they’ve been puked on more than a few times and I have some laundry to fold and put away. By the way: Slip covered sofas are the best thing ever. Seriously.

This week I started going through my clothes in my room and I have a box to take to the consignment shop and a bag to donate, so I’d like to get them out of the house either tonight or tomorrow. There are still a lot of clothes that I have to go through in my attic also but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Aside from my clothes I started pulling the newborn clothes out of Maddox’s drawers because they don’t fit him anymore and I’d like to consign them as well. We need the space and although I feel an emotional attachment to the clothes because Logan wore most of them too they serve no real purpose. I’m NOT having any other babies :)

Most of the clothes I have in the attic don’t fit me anymore and haven’t fit since I got pregnant with Logan 3 years ago. There are some nice pieces that I love but I don’t know if it makes sense to hold onto them. I was really super tiny when they fit me and most are size 0/2 that probably will never fit me again. I might fit into a 4/6 again but a 0/2 is likely not going to happen, mostly because Aidan doesn’t like me that skinny.

In any case, right now when it comes to getting dressed I don’t really have a lot to choose from. I haven’t bought much to wear after having Logan and I am debating on whether I should wait a few months and see if I can’t get these last 10 pounds off or just get stuff now. I should probably wait. If I haven’t lost the weight by October I can just get a few things. That’s a month away and a good amount of time to get focused right? Or should I get a few things now at a consignment shop and then buy real things once I am satisfied with my weight? What would you do? I mean I really don’t have more than a few outfits and they are a mess, so maybe some things just to give me more options and help me feel better would be a good idea?

I really want to be skinny and tiny again but I haven’t gotten to the point where I am dedicated to losing any weight with effort quite yet. Most of my calories are consumed in beverages, juice, coffee creamer and the worst — soda. I can’t believe I drink anything other than water, it’s turned into an awful habit and I really think half or at least a quarter of my calories are in liquid form, not even alcohol, which would at least be fun but I suppose is a bright side ;) Anyway, I need to quit cold turkey and break that bad empty calorie habit once and for all. I’ve been eating a lot of cookies too but that is just because they are quick to grab when I don’t have time to eat something real. I gotta stop making excuses tho. I could grab an apple or grapes, we always have them.

I know the reason I drink so many sugary drinks and eat the sweets, so that should make it easy to give it up. My energy is always low so I go for caffeine and sugar to give me boosts but ultimately that’s what is making me tired — that and the lack of sleep and the depression. Once I get the sugar and caffeine out of my system (and these pills start kicking in) I should feel better and probably will sleep better. It sucks when you know how to help yourself but don’t have the will power to do it. I am strong though and can fix it, I’ve done it before, I can do it again.

Do any of you struggle with things that are in your control but don’t have will power to tackle? Any tips on getting over the hump when it comes to changing bad habits? Would you buy clothes that you need now when you are expecting to lose weight in the next few months or tough it out until you reach your goals?



Thumbs Up!

This is my 200th post! For some reason that seems crazy to me. To think.. I’ve had 200 hundred things to share. Along the way I’ve made some new blogging friends and that really means a lot to me. Even though we don’t know each other in real life I think of blogging as a very personal thing so I think we are beginning to know each other pretty well.

Speaking of personal things, my 6 week OB check up was on Wednesday and it went well. I’ve healed correctly and the pain I was having turned out to be no more than me over doing life and the fibro. I’m cleared to exercise and return to normal activities so that’s been a huge weight off of my shoulders. I can clean again! Hooray! Kinda kidding.

During the appointment things got pretty serious as we talked about how I was feeling emotionally. I was honest about feeling miserable and ended up being diagnosed with post-partum depression. This really was not shocking at all. I knew I was struggling and the fact is I was getting worse and worse. The doctor put me on Zoloft and set me up with a therapist that I will meet next week. Addressing this was more of a relief than being cleared for activities as I have seriously feeling shitty for more than a few weeks. I’m not upset about any of it, I just want to feel better and already know how the game of depression goes, so I know I’ll be doing much better in a little while.

Such a happy topic for my 200th post :) 

Really, it is kinda happy because I’m getting the help I need.

Well, I don’t have much else to say right now, and the baby is about to start fussing wildly so I will end it for the day here. I hope everyone had a great week!


Eau De Puke and Sexy Times Ahead

It has been so hard finding the time to write and it’s really starting to get to me. Like I mentioned in my last post I just can’t seem to get up early anymore and have been sleeping until the baby wakes up to eat. Him waking up also means that he wakes his brother up and then before I know it it’s 9am and I am still trying to finish my coffee.

Life with a newborn is tough. It’s exhausting and frustrating and fulfilling all at once. Because he has reflux (GER) I am constantly covered in puke and he cries a lot. I feel bad for him and it’s frustrating that I can’t just make it go away. The tips the doctor told us to try do work but that means feeding time has doubled. Normally it would be one boob emptied a burp and on to the other boob. It would take 30-40 minutes. Now it’s one boob, eat for 5 minutes, burp (get puked on), back to boob eat, burp again (more puke), next boob, eat for 10 minutes, burp (you guessed it.. more puke), eat, burp, puke then sit him upright for 15-20 minutes. The whole thing takes over an hour and that was the easy version. Usually he poops twice in the session, too. It’s pretty rough. And gross.

To cover up the constant puke smell I bought myself some new body wash, lotion and spray the other night. Then Aidan bought me some perfume that I sprayed on myself while we were at the mall and he loved the way it smelled on me. OMG. I feel womanly even if I’m covered in throw up. I smell delicious too. The combination I have is Warm and Cozy by Victoria’s Secret and Alien by Thierry Mugler. Top that off with the new fabric softener we picked up and I really do not smell like my baby has reflux.

I also finally stopped trying to fight the facts and broke down and bought some new nursing bras. I was in denial for a while for whatever reason but now I finally have plenty of as sexy as you can get mommy bras. I’m sure the fact that the clip can quickly reveal my boob to Aidan is a huge turn on in itself, no matter what the bra looks like, but my head just isn’t there. I don’t want him touching my boobs at all, they are getting enough usage as it is and it always results in me being puked on soo..

Also in preparation for the (long awaited by Aidan) 6 week check up at the OBGYN I got a bikini trimmer and some new underwear and a little sexy-ish something. No.. NOT for the doctor, but for Aidan, assuming I get the thumbs up. Speaking of NOT.. I’m not in the mood to have sex again — at all — but I know I will be sooner or later and really want to be prepared. My poor man hasn’t had any action in quite a long time, so even though it won’t take too much to put a smile on his face I want him to at least feel like his wait was worth it ;)

Well, that’s all I have on my mind right now. We did a shit ton of cleaning and purging and I feel great about it but who really cares other than me :) Have a great night and hopefully I can write again soon!



i ❤️ fridays 

I am 4 posts away from hitting the 200 mark but it’s been terribly hard to get on here to write! I am so tired and have been sleeping later than normal every day! The baby still sleeps pretty well through the night but I still feel exhausted and I’m not sure why.

The big kids go back to school in 2 weeks and I hope I can get it together before then because it’s going to be very hard getting them motivated when I am a zombie :)

Yesterday was a busy day for all of us. Aidan took a random day off of work and had the lawn looking proper before 9am. Then I had to do an emergency bath on the baby because he puked all over. Then he pooped in the tub. Oh what fun.. After that Aidan bathed Logan while I fed the cranky baby and finally things calmed down.

In the afternoon I took Marshal to Macy’s to buy him some clothes. It was a deal I had made with him, which he surprisingly kept his end of.. Clean your room and do your wash and I’ll buy you some clothes for vacation and the start of school. He tried to get out of most of it but I didn’t budge and he finished it all — by himself! It’s not perfect work but the fact that he did it was great because it made him face his problems and fix them on his own.

After we shopped I made dinner (wings) and then took Regina to the mall. She wanted to get some stuff with gift cards that she got for her birthday. She’s 17! Holy shit! I was itching to get myself a whole new wardrobe because I don’t have anything nice to wear at all but resisted because a) I don’t have money and b) I still want to loose 9 pounds — maybe 8 now :)

Both times that I went out with each of the big kids the little ones stayed here with Aidan. It was so nice to spend one on one time with them and get a break from the sweet little monsters. The first trip they both napped for Aidan the whole time. The second trip Maddox screamed his head off the whole time. I felt really bad but that’s what I deal with every day while Aidan’s at work so I can’t feel too bad.

The big kids are leaving for a week with their Dad. His family has a time share in Ocean City, MD and they go every August. I used to go too and know it’s a lot of fun so I am happy for them. I’m also happy to get a break. It gives me time to miss them and it’s the only break I get from them all year long. They are a big help with the little ones so I will miss them for sure but I am super glad they are going as we haven’t had a vacation this year!

Well, that’s all I can fit in for today. I wrote this from my phone out of desperation just to write. I hope it doesn’t turn out too bad :)

Here is a picture from last weekend — we took a drive to New Hope to test out Maddox’s road trip tollerance and he did pretty well. We had to stop at a park so I could feed him and let Logan stretch his legs. It wasn’t a long trip but a fun one and a good test. We are planning a real day trip there for the fall and I’m really looking forward to it :)

Have a great weekend!

Hot Weekend Ahead

We made it to the weekend! It was a long week for me here despite getting a lot of stuff done and I am so glad that it is the weekend and that Aidan will be here for two days to help with the little kids. Last night when he got home from work he took them to the super market and then for a ride so I could have some time to myself. I was able to finish making dinner, clean the kitchen and shower so the time was very much appreciated.

I think we will be taking the babies to visit his parents either today or tomorrow. They have been in Puerto Rico for almost a month and haven’t seen Maddox since the day after he was born. Aidan’s mom is itching for some baby time! Our two year old Logan is itching for his grandparents too and has been asking for “Ita and Poopa” quite a bit in the past few weeks. I think it is great that he loves them so much, it really is sweet.

Speaking of itching to see people, Aidan has been itching to go out with his buddy to grab a burger and a beer or two and it’s been pretty hectic here so I have kinda been giving him the eye roll each time he has brought it up. I really should just suck it up and tell him to make plans because it’s good for him to get out and be with adults. It would be a good thing for me too but I’m the milk so. Well, I did get my nails done last weekend so that counts. He should definitely go! Maybe tonight or tomorrow. I know he needs a break!

Tonight for dinner I am making shredded beef sandwiches and they are usually a family favorite. What I like best about the recipe is how easy it is to get together. It can be made in a dutch oven or a crock pot and it seriously only takes a few minutes to pull it all together. More recipes like this please! By the way, I’m not sure if any of you love the Pioneer Woman as much as I do, but I saw the other day she has a new cook book coming out in October! I am definitely getting it and I can’t wait for a winter of new recipes!

My 6 week OB appointment is coming up, not this week but the next. I can’t believe how fast time is flying. I’m still mad at the jerks for not calling me back when I was worried about the pain I was in but I’m happy to say it’s not bothering me too much anymore. It only hurts when I twist wrong or haven’t used the bathroom in a few days — tmi, sorry. I will say that I am scared of being checked and I think it’s going to hurt but that’s probably all in my head. I can’t imagine having sex right now or even working out as I really am not fully healed but I know those times are right around the corner. I’ll just start slow! Aidan still hasn’t made the appointment to get snipped but I’m covered by the Depo shot until October. If worse comes to worse I’ll get one more shot but after that he will need to have gotten himself taken care of. I don’t like the extra hormones one bit, they make me a little looney!

Well, have a great weekend and try to stay cool! We are at the beginning of another heat wave here on the East Coast.. Fun, fun, fun..

Friday Night Quickie

I have 15 minutes before dinner is done and I’ve realized that this week wasn’t all that bad. I guess I’ve been a little hard on myself in the recovery process and expected to bounce back and tackle life straight away. Boy was I wrong and man I sure forgot how hard it is adjusting to a new baby in the house. I feel good today though about everything I did get done this week!

Here is a list of what I accomplished and I hope it will serve as a reminder to myself when I’m feeling like there’s so much to do. I also hope it makes you think about all that you’ve accomplished during the week and realize that each and every little task is something to be proud of. I bet you all don’t give yourselves as much credit as you deserve, I know I sure don’t!

So on with the list! This week I’ve..

  • written 5 posts (counting this one)
  • made 3 good (and real) dinners
  • had 3 showers
  • ran a few errands
  • kept the kids:
    somewhat entertained
    mostly happy
  • cleaned a lot
  • did a face mask
  • got a manicure and pedicure
  • went to a family party
  • remembered to pay the bills

I think that counts as a pretty good week with a 5 week old so I am going to bed happy tonight :) Now to chow down on some short ribs! These are very easy and delicious if you need a dinner suggestion– I’ve made them almost a thousand times!