Hooray! I am up before 7am! Well, up and out of bed and writing :) The baby did really well last night and slept from about 8pm to 3am then woke up at 5:30. I nursed him and then came down to make coffee and write. It feels good :) I didn’t sleep well last night, there was a lot of in and out sleep, so that kinda sucks, but it’s better than being woken up to nurse the baby every two hours, which has been happening now for a week or two. I hope him sleeping last night means that he will go back to his super awesome sleep schedule that he had up until then.
Today we are going to Aidan’s parents for a few hours so our two year old Logan can play with his cousin and everyone can see Maddox. I really don’t want to go anywhere, I have a lot to do here but the visit was promised to be short so I can get things done around here later this afternoon. The slip covers on my sofa need to be washed because they’ve been puked on more than a few times and I have some laundry to fold and put away. By the way: Slip covered sofas are the best thing ever. Seriously.
This week I started going through my clothes in my room and I have a box to take to the consignment shop and a bag to donate, so I’d like to get them out of the house either tonight or tomorrow. There are still a lot of clothes that I have to go through in my attic also but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Aside from my clothes I started pulling the newborn clothes out of Maddox’s drawers because they don’t fit him anymore and I’d like to consign them as well. We need the space and although I feel an emotional attachment to the clothes because Logan wore most of them too they serve no real purpose. I’m NOT having any other babies :)
Most of the clothes I have in the attic don’t fit me anymore and haven’t fit since I got pregnant with Logan 3 years ago. There are some nice pieces that I love but I don’t know if it makes sense to hold onto them. I was really super tiny when they fit me and most are size 0/2 that probably will never fit me again. I might fit into a 4/6 again but a 0/2 is likely not going to happen, mostly because Aidan doesn’t like me that skinny.
In any case, right now when it comes to getting dressed I don’t really have a lot to choose from. I haven’t bought much to wear after having Logan and I am debating on whether I should wait a few months and see if I can’t get these last 10 pounds off or just get stuff now. I should probably wait. If I haven’t lost the weight by October I can just get a few things. That’s a month away and a good amount of time to get focused right? Or should I get a few things now at a consignment shop and then buy real things once I am satisfied with my weight? What would you do? I mean I really don’t have more than a few outfits and they are a mess, so maybe some things just to give me more options and help me feel better would be a good idea?
I really want to be skinny and tiny again but I haven’t gotten to the point where I am dedicated to losing any weight with effort quite yet. Most of my calories are consumed in beverages, juice, coffee creamer and the worst — soda. I can’t believe I drink anything other than water, it’s turned into an awful habit and I really think half or at least a quarter of my calories are in liquid form, not even alcohol, which would at least be fun but I suppose is a bright side ;) Anyway, I need to quit cold turkey and break that bad empty calorie habit once and for all. I’ve been eating a lot of cookies too but that is just because they are quick to grab when I don’t have time to eat something real. I gotta stop making excuses tho. I could grab an apple or grapes, we always have them.
I know the reason I drink so many sugary drinks and eat the sweets, so that should make it easy to give it up. My energy is always low so I go for caffeine and sugar to give me boosts but ultimately that’s what is making me tired — that and the lack of sleep and the depression. Once I get the sugar and caffeine out of my system (and these pills start kicking in) I should feel better and probably will sleep better. It sucks when you know how to help yourself but don’t have the will power to do it. I am strong though and can fix it, I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
Do any of you struggle with things that are in your control but don’t have will power to tackle? Any tips on getting over the hump when it comes to changing bad habits? Would you buy clothes that you need now when you are expecting to lose weight in the next few months or tough it out until you reach your goals?