This morning I have an OB appointment and I’m really happy about that because I have been feeling really cruddy lately. Like, super terrible. I’ve been getting Braxton Hicks non-stop and they are starting to make me worry this baby will be coming early like Henry did. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about but being reassured is always a good thing, right?
When Henry was born he arrived 3 weeks early so he was still considered full term but he was tiny. Born at 5 lbs and 11 oz he was the smallest of my three. My other two kids were 6 lbs 4 oz and then 8 lbs 6 oz. As big as I feel right now there really is no way in knowing how big the baby actually is. You never can tell, even with ultra sounds — they aren’t really accurate. I just want this baby to be born full term and healthy of course but I also wish all of this discomfort would stop. There’s no winning and I guess for the next 7 weeks I’m gonna have to deal with it.
This house is a mess. I haven’t been on top of anything and not only is it starting to show around here but it’s making me crazy and cranky. I haven’t had any energy for the past few weeks and these days it’s getting worse. When I push myself to get cleaning done if I bend over the stupid contractions start up. I find it impossible to not bend over so it’s lose, lose :( Aidan has been chipping in a ton — cleaning up the kitchen, doing just about all the laundry, picking up after Henry and more. I’m so grateful he is understanding but I really just want to do it all myself. I enjoy cleaning, it de-stresses me and not being able to do it makes me feel worthless.
There are so many things I want to get done around here before the baby comes and I’ve been given and will get a lot of upcoming opportunities to get them done. The problem is that I seriously have zero energy and I am really hurting. It’s terrible. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up for that and I’m not really doing such a thing. I’m honestly just feeling sorry for myself which probably makes it all worse but if there is one thing I love having most in this world (within myself) it’s energy and I’m really feeling miserable without it. My body is happy when it can keep up with my brain and lately I’m just so unbalanced.
I still haven’t touched a paint brush to the living room and I have a ton of baby clothes to wash and organize. The bathroom needs a major cleaning and I’d like to steam mop all the floors. I want to start cooking for the freezer and get life set up to be simple once the baby is here but all I can do these days is think about this list of things. I really hope I’ll get a burst of energy, even if it’s only for one day. I could get some of that done, if not most, in one day. I don’t remember if an energy burst comes at the end of pregnancy. I know nesting kicks in at some point but does that include the adrenaline?
How do you cope when you are feeling this worn down, pregnancy or not? Any tips on pushing through a period of exhaustion like this? I know asking for help is my best bet, but I want to do some of it myself.. Any suggestions?