Yesterday I took Regina to Motor Vehicle and as expected she passed her written test and was given her learners permit. Jeeze what a feeling that is for me, to have my first child learning how to drive and to be expecting my last child in a few more weeks. Time really flies so fast.
When it comes to my two oldest kids I really still feel so young. An almost 17 year old and an almost 16 year old — that’s just crazy talk! I’m only 36 and could have been this close to the end of my child raising years, but back-up!! I have an almost 2 year old and an almost newborn.. That sets me back a good 18 years. What was I thinking?!
I’ll tell you what I was thinking.. I wanted another baby and then I wanted one last one for the win! Am I crazy? I guess. Depending on how you look at it, yes, I could be considered crazy, but I’ll tell you what.. This round of parenting a toddler is much more enjoyable than I ever imagined.
(In 3 months when I’m in the sleep deprived stage I might not agree with what I just said but after I get some sleep I’m sure I’ll flop back to “this is really great stuff!” mode.)
Having two sets of kids who are so close together in age is a good thing for me I think. When I was a teen I never even wanted to have kids, but I was young then and don’t know what I wanted from life. Once I had my first two I was exhausted. Working hard and raising a family at a young age (or any age for that matter) was certainly a challenge. And for me one that was a little hard to accept, but I did what I had to do. I wanted to go out and have fun with my friends, and there were some times when I was able to do that, but for the most part I didn’t have a great 10 years of being in my 20’s. I did in the fact that I had my awesome kids, but I didn’t because I didn’t have those years of “me” time.
Would I change anything? Nope. Well, except the man I had the kids with but they wouldn’t be who they are, so there’s that..
Now I am older, less selfish, and certainly more confident that family is what I enjoy spending my time, energy and focus on. I have the best man in the world and for me he really makes a difference about how I feel when it comes to my family and life. The big kids help me out a lot with Henry and even though I am a lot older this time around, I still feel pretty young.
When my oldest graduates high school next year I will be 38; when my youngest graduates in (18 years!) I will be 55. That’s a big difference in age, but I’ll still be young; ten years away from retirement. Hopefully I’ll still be able to have energy and I know I (probably) won’t feel as frazzled as I do now.
I suppose I am just meant to be a mother throughout my life (clarification: a mother with young kids as once you are a mom you are one forever). The good news for me is that this time around I will fit in with other parents. With the older two I was usually the youngest parent among their friends and peers and didn’t quite click with the other older (more mature) parents. I always carried around a complex about it, too. With these younger ones I will fit right in because many women my age are having their first babies at my age.
Anyway, that’s what’s on my mind this morning, a day after Regina got her drivers permit, 2 weeks after she got her first job and 7 weeks before my final baby is due to come into the world.
How has your age effected your parenting views? Did you start young or old or in between? Is there a large age gap in between any of your children and most importantly, how do you feel about your age in comparison to your children’s?