Younger Mommy — Older Ma

Yesterday I took Regina to Motor Vehicle and as expected she passed her written test and was given her learners permit. Jeeze what a feeling that is for me, to have my first child learning how to drive and to be expecting my last child in a few more weeks. Time really flies so fast.

When it comes to my two oldest kids I really still feel so young. An almost 17 year old and an almost 16 year old — that’s just crazy talk! I’m only 36 and could have been this close to the end of my child raising years, but back-up!! I have an almost 2 year old and an almost newborn.. That sets me back a good 18 years. What was I thinking?!

I’ll tell you what I was thinking.. I wanted another baby and then I wanted one last one for the win! Am I crazy? I guess. Depending on how you look at it, yes, I could be considered crazy, but I’ll tell you what.. This round of parenting a toddler is much more enjoyable than I ever imagined.

(In 3 months when I’m in the sleep deprived stage I might not agree with what I just said but after I get some sleep I’m sure I’ll flop back to “this is really great stuff!” mode.)

Having two sets of kids who are so close together in age is a good thing for me I think. When I was a teen I never even wanted to have kids, but I was young then and don’t know what I wanted from life. Once I had my first two I was exhausted. Working hard and raising a family at a young age (or any age for that matter) was certainly a challenge. And for me one that was a little hard to accept, but I did what I had to do. I wanted to go out and have fun with my friends, and there were some times when I was able to do that, but for the most part I didn’t have a great 10 years of being in my 20’s. I did in the fact that I had my awesome kids, but I didn’t because I didn’t have those years of “me” time.

Would I change anything? Nope. Well, except the man I had the kids with but they wouldn’t be who they are, so there’s that..

Now I am older, less selfish, and certainly more confident that family is what I enjoy spending my time, energy and focus on. I have the best man in the world and for me he really makes a difference about how I feel when it comes to my family and life. The big kids help me out a lot with Henry and even though I am a lot older this time around, I still feel pretty young.

When my oldest graduates high school next year I will be 38; when my youngest graduates in (18 years!) I will be 55. That’s a big difference in age, but I’ll still be young; ten years away from retirement. Hopefully I’ll still be able to have energy and I know I (probably) won’t feel as frazzled as I do now.

I suppose I am just meant to be a mother throughout my life (clarification: a mother with young kids as once you are a mom you are one forever). The good news for me is that this time around I will fit in with other parents. With the older two I was usually the youngest parent among their friends and peers and didn’t quite click with the other older (more mature) parents. I always carried around a complex about it, too. With these younger ones I will fit right in because many women my age are having their first babies at my age.

Anyway, that’s what’s on my mind this morning, a day after Regina got her drivers permit, 2 weeks after she got her first job and 7 weeks before my final baby is due to come into the world.

How has your age effected your parenting views? Did you start young or old or in between? Is there a large age gap in between any of your children and most importantly, how do you feel about your age in comparison to your children’s?

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7 thoughts on “Younger Mommy — Older Ma

  1. Hi Ginger, Oh I definitely am glad I was on the younger side of the kid having thing. My fifth was when I was 32 !! I wanted six, but I knew my fifth would be my last. I am 55 years old and my baby will be 23 years old this year and the oldest will be 33. The husband is 59. I don’t feel 55 and I don’t know how fast those years went, but they went. Our Matthew is over in China and I don’t think I have slept in the last 3 nights. Worry that’s all I do right now. I worry about Connor who is by himself out east because the whole company is in China. My daughter has blew up her life with a loser, and just had his 2nd baby. He does nothing but suck off of her. She is in RN and he is an ex-con who doesn’t work and goes out and gets girls pg. Her first daughter, Gabriella is 9. He was in jail for most of the time and has gotten other girl’s pg and needed a place to live so he came back and got her. I know she is part to blame. It’s the law of natural consequences. She is going to have to learn the hard way. She never made the right choices. She will be 30 in a few months. At least she is an RN, thanks to her father and me… Then my oldest I have not talked to in 3 maybe 4 years. He just left after I told him he can’t live in our basement and he needs to work. That is after I got him not 1 but 2 college degrees. He became a professional college student. But I’ll save that for another time. Motherhood is definitely a challenge. Hopefully I will survive all of this drama and get back to living a good life. Have a great day. I enjoy reading your blogs…<3

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  2. A big part of me wishes that I had started having a family when I was in my early to mid-20s so by the time the kids were old enough to stay home alone, I would still be in my 30s or early 40s and have a ton of freedom. However, it took me until 28 to meet the only man I could ever imagine having kids with, marrying him at 30, and then starting our family at age 32. So it wasn’t in the cards for me. But now, when I think back to being 25 or 26, I don’t think I was ready to take on kids. Not that I was immature, but more so that I wasn’t in a place in my life where I would have been happy being “tied down” to kids while the rest of my friends were doing things sporadically. I think a small part of me would have regretted taking that step in life at 25 years old. Do I regret the fact that I’m having our first child in my 30s? Not one bit. I think I am mentally stronger and more prepared for the big change that is about to happen in our lives. Plus, by the time this little guy is 18 and graduating, I’ll only be 50, and if I have the amazing genetics like my parents, then I will still be young and ready to enjoy the new freedom!

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  3. Ginger, you are going to experience the best of both worlds with your two-stage motherhood, and that’s great. My son is 36 and my daughter is 33 and neither of them are anywhere near thinking of having a child right now, so I agree that you will fit in with all the other over thirty-five year old parents filling the playgrounds and swimming pools–most of my kids’ friends are just now having their first babies, too. So different than when I was younger. My hubby and I were 25 when we had our son and that was old for the 70’s standards…I don’t think there is a right or wrong age to have a child–it happens when it happens and age doesn’t make a person either a good or bad parent. My husband’s great-niece had a baby last year at the tender age of just-turned 18 and she is an amazing mom to her wee one….will she face struggles? Sure, she will–all parents face struggles of one kind or another and if someone tries to tell you otherwise then take that with a grain of sea salt (better for us than regular table salt…LOL). So, enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy if you can and remember that it will be the last time you put your body through such a gruelling workout, ever…then enjoy your new baby. I don’t know you well but my instinct tells me that you are an awesome mom to the three children you already love with all your heart and you will be no different with the newest addition this summer. Hope the heat doesn’t get too bad before you deliver–I carried my daughter all through an extremely hot and humid summer and thought it would never end. She was due in Aug but chose to wait until mid Sept to make her grand entrance…I’ll never forget that summer! LOL

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  4. I’m 37, my kids are 18 and 15 from my first marriage. I remarried when I was 30 and my husband and I would like to add to the family. So far it hasn’t happened but we haven’t stopped trying so maybe I’ll soon be in a similar situation.

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    1. Good luck! It took us a little while with our 2 year old and we thought it would with this one so we started trying a little earlier than we wanted to conceive but it happened immediately lol I find that not thinking about it helps the most :)

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