Now that I am more than half way through my fourth pregnancy I’ve realized a few things. Most importantly (and the topic of today’s post) is that I absolutely hate being pregnant. With each pregnancy I have become more of a mess than I was with the last.
Pregnancy # 4 x Mess = Big Huge Disaster
Here are the details because I’m in the mood to complain:
- My boobs are flipping humungous. Sure this was a bonus when I was an A/B cup and desperately wanted a bigger chest. Now that I’m wearing a D/DD all I want are my tiny and manageable boobs back. My back hurts. My bras don’t fit. My tops don’t fit and these things are constantly in the way. How much fucking bigger can they get before my spine snaps?
- Heartburn: It’s constant. It’s annoying. It’s painful.
- Not being able to take medicine. Including that of an alcoholic nature.
- Insomnia — it’s baaaack. Please, can I sleep well one night soon?!!
- My bladder hates me. I spend more time peeing than doing anything else. Sadly, I know it will only get worse from here.
- My emotions are rampant. I laugh. I cry. The devil posses me to turn into a scary witch and then bake cupcakes.
- Weight gain. OMG I am seriously fat. Not just pregnant belly here! Nope, what I’ve got going on is straight up water retention city and cake face.
- All I want to do is eat salt and sugar. Just pass the bags and a spoon. I’ll be fine. Wait, why am I fat???
- Discomfort. I am so freaking uncomfortable. No matter what position I am in it hurts. Sitting, standing, laying down. Ouch. Hanging upside down, floating, hopping. Ugh. My fucking body hurts.
- Knowing I am still going to feel all of this way for another 4 months just makes me sad. Or angry. Or hungry. Or tired.
- Low energy levels. Or better described as no energy levels. I seriously am dragging myself around every hour of the day.
- My brain stopped working. Seriously, it’s been on vacation for a few weeks now and I’d like it to return.
I am just a hot mess. In past pregnancies I have been cute and bubbly up until the last trimester. Nope, not this time! This time I gave up on myself much earlier than I ever have before. As in as soon as I peed on that stupid stick. Is it because I am older now? Usually I can hold out until the third trimester to give up; that’s when my clothes haven’t match the current season and I didn’t want to spend money on stuff to wear for only three months. Oh, but not this time!
This time around, I have been trying to wear maternity clothes from the last pregnancy. Sure, I can get them on but they really don’t fit comfortably. So after a few hours of feeling like a stuffed sausage I rip them off and throw on my lovely sweatpants or stretchies. I am a super model :)
I am determined to start being cute now though. I’ll get some clothes that fit and just feel better. Lord knows those maternity clothes will get usage for much longer than three months. Yup, I am doing some shopping and I’m gonna get my shit together for this last pregnancy. I’m gonna (start trying to) resist all of these naughty cravings and get moving around more, too. I owe it to myself. I owe it to Aidan. He deserves to see me in more than worn out sweat pants and shirts that highlight my rolls.
I’ll get my eye brows done, my hair shaped up, and a pedicure too. I’ll just feel better, you know. I might be fat and pregnant but there is no law that says I can’t be cute, fat, pregnant. Or that I can’t feel good about myself. I think it’s especially this last time around, I don’t want to fall into a slump after pushing out this baby and lose myself forever! I’m old and feel horrible inside maybe feeling better on the outside will help me somehow so I won’t keep feeling this way for an eternity.
How did you make out with your pregnancies? Did you love it or hate it and how did you do with self care? Please let a lady know the good the bad and the ugly!