I did not sleep well at all last night. I fell asleep at 8pm but Henry woke up crying at 1am and after he was settled in our bed I just couldn’t fall back to sleep. I think I dozed in and out until I looked at the clock again at 2:30am. Again I woke up at 4am and debated on just getting up and starting the day. I realized that I would be a zombie if I didn’t get more sleep and somehow fell back until my alarm went off.
When I drug myself downstairs I could hear Marshall’s alarm going off and felt my head throbbing. What was the fucking point of the alarm clock?! I’m still going down as many times to wake him up as I was before. Already feeling some type of way I then remembered the mess I had left in the kitchen and braced myself before turning on the light. I didn’t clean up after dinner because I was so agitated with the way Marshall was acting that I needed to get as far away from him as I could before I snapped.
The dirty dishes aren’t as many as I remember them to be but it’s mostly pots and pans and they are the worst part. And the house still smells like the beef and ginger I cooked with last night. I don’t know that the ginger is a bad smell but cooked beef always sits heavy in the air and bothers me.
Today is the first day that both big kids will be in school this week. And it’s Friday. I realized while I was making my coffee that not getting a break from them this week has gotten to me. Monday was MLK day, Tuesday Marshall was sick, Wednesday I couldn’t send him to school because I had a hard time filling his meds again, and yesterday Regina had to go to a Juvenile Intake meeting. I haven’t even gotten into that mess on here yet. Anyway.. TGIF now go to school!
Now I am going to jump back to the kitchen mess for a minute.. I am really glad that I decided to work hard on cleaning it before bed. I honestly started to forget how much anxiety I get waking up to an uncleaned kitchen. I don’t know how I used to do it every morning and this morning I’m feeling some type of way. It was necessary for my frame of mind to just leave it last night and while I regret that I couldn’t just charge through the frustration of dealing with Marshall I know I would have flipped my shit and regretted that more. So now I have to clean and that sucks to have to do it first thing in the morning but it is what it is.
I just cleaned up the dishes.. 23 minutes. I feel much better now and will sweep and do the counters when I can during the day. The big part is done :) I also started my laundry and I’m happy to say that’s almost 100% under control, too. I’m wrapping this post up now because I’ve done enough complaining for an hour. I have a few non-complaint ideas in mind for future posts and I’d like to get started on them in the next few days. Refreshing, if I can do it. Have a great day, TGIF!