A Case of the Dummies

When I was in high school there was a term that was used to describe the way one acted after a night of hard partying, specifically related to smoking a lot of pot. It was known as having a case of the dummies. Basically you were just dumb. You weren’t able to talk well, remember things, or function to normal capacity.

Well, I certainly haven’t smoked a lot or any pot in God knows how long, but from time to time I get like that. When it happens it is kind of funny but it usually happens at home where I don’t come across as a huge ass in front of people who don’t know me. Yesterday, however, I got a case of the dummies in the checkout lane of a crowded super market.

After my daughter and I did a quick shop and I got in line I asked her to grab thing of water that we forgot. The cashier was super fast and rung my items up so quickly that my daughter hadn’t returned by the time she was done. She was kind while we waited an extra minute for my daughter to bring the huge counter water dispenser to the lane. The lady behind was the exact opposite of kind though and I received many dirty looks while we waited and again as my daughter tried to get past her to put the water on the belt. The rude woman even tried to block her from getting through but my daughter politely said excuse me three times and smiled until the bitch stepped aside. We were slowing her life down by a minute. The world was crumbling. I apologized without a response from her and we proceeded to finish the check out.

Then the dummies set in. Immediately as I swiped my debit card my mind went completely blank. For the life of me I couldn’t remember the pin number. I put in what I thought hard about it being.

“Try again,” the cashier said smiling.
I tried a different combination. “Unauthorized.” I can’t believe this is happening. I said so out loud.
“Okay, you can try again.” the cashier said not even fazed.
The numbers just jumped out of my brain. “Unauthorized.”

Oh my, God! Why is this happening. I quickly searched through my bag looking for the letter from the bank with my pin number on it, knowing damn well I took it out when I cleaned my purse out 2 weeks ago.

“Can you run it through as credit?” the cashier asked.
“Yes! I’ll do that!”
“Unauthorized.” Now I’m getting death stares from the lady behind me who I’ve slowed down by another minute.
“Oh, they freeze accounts after a few wrong entry’s sometimes, that’s probably what happened. I’ll pend the order while you figure out what to do” she said.

The cashier wasn’t being rude but she was acknowledging the fact that the lady behind me was in a super rush to pay for her groceries. She was probably also trying to prevent a hole from being burned through my forehead by this woman’s death stare.

My daughter suggested I just write a check while I unsuccessfully called Aidan for the third time to ask him to look at the pin number I stashed in the bank file. I hung up the phone took her advice and pulled my checkbook out while the cashier to was ringing up the lady who was in a hurry. “Oh you can go pay at the front counter. They have your order pending over there,” another employee said to me as she pointed to the customer service desk.

I went over to the desk and quickly paid by check. All was fine again but I was so embarrassed that it even happened and irritated with the impatient lady behind me.  What did make me feel better though was that despite the extra time it took to go through all of that we still left the store ahead of the impatient lady.

On top of that I happened to be in the car in front of hers as we were leaving the parking lot so I was sure to take my time at all the stop signs and let another car go ahead in front of me. She was probably having a shitty day or had to pee or something and now I feel a little bad, but she made me feel worse about my life and the case of the dummies I was suffering through than I was already feeling, so screw her.


One thought on “A Case of the Dummies

  1. Oh, that’s the WORST. I once forgot my PIN number for an entire week! As quickly as it left my brain, it re-appeared, out of nowhere. It’s the strangest thing.

    I’m glad you were able to pay by check. And, as for that lady – hopefully it hits her just the same as it hit you, one day. Then she might wise up and not be such a douche. :-P


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