Still Nuzzled in Their Beds

I woke up again super early, even though it’s Christmas morning and no kids have woken me up to see if Santa came. The baby is too young still to understand what Christmas is and like every year since I’ve split from my ex, the big kids are with his family. That side of their family always has a big Christmas Eve party and then they stay overnight to open gifts with their little cousins. While I think that was fun when they were younger I know they’d rather be here on Christmas morning with me.

Next year I think I’ll say they have to be home after the party. That will probably mean that I have to pick them up, which will be a pain, but having them here opening gifts with their brother will be fun for them. He will be 2 and a half and have a bit better of an understanding. Plus, this is the first year that I’ve really missed them being here first thing in the am. It’s not like I don’t see them every other day and that I don’t enjoy the peace and quiet, but, well, I miss them and I don’t need any reason for that.

Today we will be going to my boyfriends sisters house. I like his family a lot but I don’t often feel included in their conversations. I do try to jump in when they aren’t talking about people I don’t know or stories of their childhoods, but that is rare and usually even then I feel like they ignore me. I don’t think they do it on purpose, but I certainly feel like an outsider. I often wonder if that is how my boyfriends brother-in-law feels, too. He’s been a part of their family for longer than I have but I see a sort of trend there and secretly wish that he also feels left out. Not because I want him to feel left out but just to know that I am not alone.

We didn’t do anything special last night. I wrapped gifts, we ate fast food and I went to sleep pretty early. When boyfriend went to pick up burgers he said he saw a group of shady looking characters lurking on the street. There have been a lot of break in’s in the village, more than the normal high rate, so I got worried that we would get robbed. Maybe they were just regular people doing regular things but you never can tell around here anymore. I decided to keep most of the lights on in the house as well as the Christmas lights and back door light on overnight just as a precaution. My boyfriend owns a gun but it would be a terrible awful thing if he ever had to use it, even only to scare some crooks away. I would like to get a dog for protection but that would mean somone would be cleaning up dog poop, then there are the costs of buying food and vet bills and the dog’s training. I’ve got so much on my plate already and no one really chips in with the two cats that we already have.

I’ve got to get a shower and clean up this house. The kitchen is a mess still from yesterdays breakfast, lunch and cookie baking. I spent the morning yesterday shopping, the afternoon cooking and baking and the evening wrapping. I wanted to clean and shower before bed but I was exhausted. I did a great job wrapping the gifts. It took me a long time because I got fancy with the bows. No one will notice the time I spent wrapping and the care I put into them, but that’s okay. I know they will be excited when they see the gifts even if they don’t know why.

I don’t know I am going to wear today. My boyfriend asked me to look for ugly christmas sweaters while I was out yesterday but the places I checked were out. That, by the way, is exactly the type of thing that his sister will do. She told him a few days a go that they were wearing them on Christmas. Instead of including him and saying, hey lets all wear them (ahead of time) she says at the last-minute we are doing this it’s going to be  so much fun. I don’t think he even realizes that she does it but it happens a bit. He’s not sensitive like I am so I guess it doesn’t bother him. But it bothers me that they don’t include him and that he kind of has to invite himself to take part in whatever fun thing they are doing.

Well I guess I should get to cleaning up everything, the baby will be awake in a few hours and I want to be able to enjoy watching him opening and playing with his gifts! We got him just a couple of things but he will love them so much! I hope you have a great holiday and feel a lot of love no matter what you end up doing with your day!


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