I get an hour to myself each day. One hour to do anything I want or need to do with the luxury of not being interrupted or needed. This hour happens to be the second of the morning. After I’ve gotten the big kids up and off to school and before I have to wake my boyfriend up for work and tend to the baby for the rest of the day. I usually use this hour to either tackle my big chore of the day, do laundry or take a shower.
Showers. Oh how I remember it being easy to take showers when I wanted before the baby came along. Now, because I don’t get free time and I’m zonked out by 8pm showers are usually the last on my to-do list. I’ve gone from (at least) once a day to once every other day. My showers aren’t luxurious anymore. I don’t exfoliate regularly. I don’t shave regularly. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I moisturized after a long shower. Long shower. Ha!
I know I should give myself time to take care of myself for the sake of feeling better. Having an 18 month old who doesn’t nap makes that hard. Especially when there are floors to mop, tons of laundry and many other messes to clean. Now that I want to start writing again my hour is stretched even thinner. I could wake up earlier, in fact that’s what I’ve done today. But now I’m cut short because I’ve got to wake the big kids up.
That’s always a flip of a coin. Who might feel sick today? Who will throw a tantrum over socks? Who will scream about what we don’t have for breakfast (begin drama: there’s never anything to eat in this house!!!) My older kids are horrible. I don’t coddle them or cater to them and it’s rough (on them) but getting easier on me. Slowly. Very slowly.
The hour I have to myself is helpful in calming my nerves down on the days when there is drama. I love my hour a day. Maybe today I will come back here and write more, guilt free. I showered and did a ton of cleaning yesterday, mopped the day before. I can write guilt free again today. Wish me luck waking the big kids up!